Disturbed, to say the least...

For the last decade of so, I haven't really had much of a relationship with my Dad and it's really because of his wife. She has caused a major rift between my Dad and his kids, and now his grandkids (one whom he's never met). Growing up I never imagined living in the same town as my Dad and not having a relationship with him. I never imagined him not sharing in all the things that my kids did. Jojo is at an age now where she has been asking a lot of questions on why she doesn't see her Papa, why he doesn't call or come over like her other grandparents do. It's getting very hard to answer those questions. Jakey has only seen him a handful of times, so he doesn't really have comment on the whole situation yet. I feel bad for my nephew who has another grandpa out there (less than 5 miles away), but he doesn't know it.
For me being the peacekeeper of the family, this has bothered me for many years. I'm constantly reaching out to him and being yelled at by his wife, had the cops called on me by his wife, or being told that I didn't say enough to her or respect her enough (by his wife). It's pretty disgusting to watch someone else do all the speaking for my Dad. I've sent letters, called, sent e-mails, and even met him after work and have been shot down many times. Recently we have seen him at his place of business and he acts as if everything is fine, like we'll all be meeting up for lunch later on. It's his place of business, so I act as if nothing is wrong because I don't feel his place of business is the right place to bring up things. I hate acting like nothing is bothering me, but I cannot get it off my chest to him. This last incident just may have pushed me over the edge.
Last week I was doing some reading online and saw that my father had moved! No phone call, no e-mail, didn't even mention thinking of moving last time I saw him at his place of business! My blood began to boil and I started to see red. How can he move away from his family and not even call us?! Does he really think that this will help the family situation?! What was he thinking? Or did his wife tell him not to call us?! I decided to let him know that I knew that he moved by sending a congrats card to his new address. A few days later I received an e-mail that said
thanx for the new home card. love ya ,dad and dawn
That was it! So my reply was
It was quite a shock to find out on the Internet that you moved, how come no one got a phone call or an e-mail?
The next day this is what really ticked me off.
i guess,as a family,we All have communication issues. love ya
And this is supposed to help the family communicate better? This is supposed to help the rift that has run so deep in our family I don't think it will ever be fixed? REALLY?! I'm truly at a loss for words with this situation. I don't know what else I can do to help the situation because whatever I have tried, it hasn't worked.
I think when my Dad started dating this women she wanted it to be her kids and my Dad (since they grew up with a Dad) and now it looks like she has her wish. I can no longer be blamed for cancer scares (yes you read that right), marriage problems (when I lived 532 miles away!), illnesses, etc. She will have to find someone else to blame these things on because I don't think I can put myself, my family, or my brothers through anymore trying or reaching out. She has caused a rift not only between my Dad and his kids, but one of my Aunts and Uncles also. The lies she has told them is UNBELIEVEABLE and it's sad that they have listened to her and not asked for my side of things. I didn't grow up with an extended family and now it seems that my kids will miss out on that, to me that's the saddest thing that could happen.